It's a strange world out there; one full of complexities and treacherous paths, yet somewhat balanced with moments full of joy and wonderful people on the way. One might be full of energy and zest for life but a few moments when we can escape to a world of our own with nothing but solitude can be so blissful. It can be anything as far as I am concerned; a silent night when I sit on the swing outside and watch the trees whispering sweet lil anecdotes to each other, a bout of laughter with my dear friends (not exactly falling in the category of solitude but works fine for me), pacing up and down the room with a head full of thoughts that are never meant to be shared with anyone, a delightful memory, or a quiet night when I can curl up on my favourite spot on the sectional or the bed and read a wonderful book, absorbing thoughts poured in the form of words by the author or poet. My reading list varies depending on my mood, the requirement of my work, the phase of life I might be going through, or just plain curiosity on my part to find out about something. However, some books have a permanent spot on my nightstand. Again some of them kept changing with time as did the number of books. At times I fill up an entire basket with books I'm currently reading; at other times I like to clear it all up leaving just the few that I can't bear to be apart from.
Faiz's Nuskha Hai Wafa and a rare copy of Diwan e Ghalib are amongst those that stay. I sometimes wonder what made me stay away from poetry for about a decade in between. I grew up surrounded by people who would live and breathe poetry. By the time I was in 8th grade, I had developed my own taste and regularly went to mushairas with Papa, a cultural activity that created much hype in those days, and mind you, I'm not very ancient. Fast forward ten years and I realized that I had drifted away from my own self; perhaps struggling to be someone I wasn't, someone that others wanted to see me as, someone I never was and never will be; locking away my sight, my speech, my thoughts, my mind, in an old dusty trunk. I don't exactly know what prompted me to open that old trunk once again and lay out everything side by side; but I did; painstakingly blowing away dust and restoring it all to its former self; with the thoughts and the speech and my soul re-emerging.
It was while doing the dishes this morning and looking out the window at the beautiful palm trees and enjoying the blissful morning, that I realized that I have been singing (not humming) Faiz's Aaj bazaar mein pabajolaan chalo for the last three days. That led to the thought of sharing what I'm reading these days in a blog post. However, the post turned out to be less about the books and more about just pouring my heart out, something I tend to do more often than not. And it just hit me... isn't this blog also a form of escape? Contrary to what some people believe, I find nothing wrong with escapism; Keats did it, Shelley did it and although I am no where in their league or ever will be, I am my own person and I admire them for being able to do so for whatever amount of time even if others considered it unrealistic. They were who they were; just as I am who I am and now that I am striving to find myself once again, I refuse to go down the lane where our thoughts are enslaved by those of others; where we are ruled by societal pressures; where we are defined by what we wear, where we go, who we meet; where meaningless superficial things in life seem to carry more importance than they should; where people can't seem to comprehend the secret world of silence; where when a woman speaks her mind she is labelled as feminist; where you are expected to be someone you are not.. I refuse to go down that lane once again..
But remember, that is just one side of the world and just a fraction of people living there.. The other side is beautiful.. calm and serene, with gorgeous blue skies and rainbows and like-minded people; all of which give us the strength to find beauty in things we overlook, experience small pleasures of the simplest things in life and to move forward.. So this one my friends, is to the worlds we escape to and the worlds ahead, so full of hope and happiness...To the other side!
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