We are creatures of folly. Sometimes without thinking of the consequences we venture into what turns out to be the worst nightmare. Before we can fathom what has happened, we are in it so deep that it becomes difficult to turn back. At times we admit our foolishness and move on. But what happens if it's someone like me who wants to cling on to the nightmare and refuses to budge? So for me it's neither forward nor back; for me it is holding on to the memories and never letting go.
A question that I ask myself often these days is that can I be the same person again? Can I be the same mother to my kids, the same wife, the same daughter or sister or friend again? Can I rely on the cliche 'Time is the best healer'? The answer comes from within. My heart says 'no' because it has a mind of its own but my mind takes over and says ' don't we all move on even after our loved ones die?'. That gives me some consolation. So I decide to pull myself together for face value at least and put on a brave front for it is useless to regret something that has already been done; especially when deep down you don't really have any regrets. How thankful I am to be able to separate the painful from the wonderful memories and to be able to turn my nightmare into just a beautiful dream.
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