The perfect world

I have always had a feeling that wherever I lived there has been a little something weird about it; you know, like 'haunted' weird. In my perfect world everything is straight and symmetrical. There are no waves, no curves unless it makes sense to me (the queen) :) Nothing is crooked, nothing is lopsided, nothing and I mean NOTHING, can be asymmetrical unless I want it it to be. So I have tried to create an environment accordingly. Unfortunately as soon as I turn my back, some fairy folk ( from my Enid Blyton days) create havoc around the house. Now I so hope that it's some dainty little fairies but it could be those naughty imps that live under my window or perhaps the elves who got sick of making shoes for the old shoemaker. Every morning I get up and roam around the house straightening the paintings on the walls, the doormats that seem to have a will of their own, my coffee table books that slide to places they shouldn't and everything else around the house. Now you have to keep in mind that I'm the same person who goes to Pizza Hut and starts straightening their paintings (hmm, no wonder I don't feel very welcome there). So, like I said, before I start my day I need certain things to be straight in my house. I can live with a pile of dishes in the sink for a little while (I think), or dirty laundry (groan) and even wet bathroom floors (actually Semre, have you seen my bathroom floor wet, ever? I seem to be suffering from short term memory loss at the moment). Semre is my cousin, my friend, my sister, for those of you who don't know. I have some hotspots like every normal person and yes, I can still claim to be normal though my brother doesn't agree. I also have disaster areas just like Monica's closet; but I choose not to enter those rooms, such as my store room. Everywhere else there is nothing but straight lines, the bed, the shelves, the couch, even the lamps. But those naughty, naughty imps (or the ghost) make everything crooked behind my back. No matter how many times I fix the doormats, they go crooked again, and the paintings, aargh! For the life of me I can't figure out how they go lopsided every single day! I insist on believing it's fairy folk and not some ghost, but it could be! I so want things to stay where I put them but just like the people around me they seem to pay no attention to what I tell them to do. So in my 'To Do List' for today, I have written just one thing; 'pray and ask God to send a good ghost to my house to replace the naughty one; who likes things straight and symmetrical and who freaks out when things are lopsided'. I'm sure God will happily grant my wish to stop my early morning complaining and grumbling. What do you think?